


A Deal with the Devil

by ElizaSam



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec has a sweet tooth, Alec the Animal Lover, Bottom Alec Lightwood, Deal with a Devil, First Kiss, Fluff, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Seven Deadly Sins, Sexuality Crisis, Top Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:54:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23407876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizaSam/pseuds/ElizaSam
Summary: Retrieving Clary’s memories from Magnus Bane will require payment beyond a single necklace. But although Alec agrees to the price of seven sins, can he truly learn to accept himself? And what about his undeniable attraction to Magnus?ORMagnus makes a deal, Alec is forced to confront his sexuality, and the two slowly fall in love.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Malec - Relationship
Comments: 61
Kudos: 326





	1. The Deal

“Okay, so how do we summon the memory demon?” asked the fiery redhead perched on Magnus’s couch. 

“Bold of you to assume I will, Shadowhunter.” Magnus circled the room, crooking a finger in Clary’s direction. “As I said, I believe in payment for services rendered. You have nothing to offer me.”

Jace stepped forward and poked a finger in front of Magnus’s face. “That’s what the necklace was for, warlock. Payment for your service.” 

A stern voice cut through the air, disapproval bleeding from its tone. "Jace."

Magnus turned, eyeing the tall man practically swallowed by the shadows of the room. His face was stony, bare of any emotion beyond reprimand, and his stance defensive. Muscular arms crossed over his heart as though hiding something deeper within, and the molten of his eyes was heavily guarded. He was _intriguing._

__“That necklace is nothing more than a babble. Shiny, pleasing to look at,” Magnus nodded at the jewel hanging from Isabelle’s neck, “but merely an object. You Nephilim cannot afford my services.”_ _

__“Name it.”_ _

__“Ah, Clary Fairchild, rashness did always run in the bloodline. You promise me what might not be yours to offer. Are your companions just as willing?” Magnus spun, dropping into a chair and summoning a drink. Sipping it slowly, he couldn’t help but enjoy the startled looks. “You Nephilim travel closely and fight collectively, but you are not prepared to sacrifice as one. Such is the failure of your kind.”_ _

__Silence filled the room, each of the angels' children looking from one another to Magnus, who was smugly stirring his drink with a single, painted fingernail._ _

__“You sure your memories know where the cup is?” The blond man asked, glancing worriedly at Clary. “Are you positive?”_ _

__“W- Well,” she stuttered, “not positive…”_ _

__Magnus stood, downing his drink. “Just as I suspected. Be gone, Nephilim, and do not trifle with me again.”_ _

__“Wait! We’ll do it.”_ _

__Magnus stopped in his tracks, spinning to face the dark-haired Isabelle. “You speak for all?”_ _

__She paused, glancing at each of the other individuals, before nodding. “I do. In exchange for Clary’s memories, you will be compensated by one of us at your discretion”_ _

__“Okay,” Magnus replied, summoning a book of colored chalks. “Pretty boy, you come with me. The rest of you, prepare Clary as best you can.” Handing off the chalks, he turned to leave the room. Jace followed, steps heavy and loud. “Ah ah, I was not talking to you.” Magnus put a hand out, stopping the Nephilim. He shifted, gesturing to the taller man. “I was talking to you, Alec.”_ _

__Alec looked surprised, if not mildly flattered. He removed his bow, placing it carefully on the living room table, before giving the others a lingering look and following Magnus out of the room. Unlike Jace, his footsteps were careful and quiet, each purposeful in their direction._ _

__They entered a room with crimson painted walls and shelves full of jars and glass bottles. A solitary window shed natural light onto a wooden table, laden with quills and contracts. Magnus summoned one of each. He wrote quickly, scribbling as he spoke._ _

__“You, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, have voluntarily consented to sacrifice your virtue in exchange for Clary Fairchild’s memories-”_ _

__“My what?” Alec interrupted, though his voice remained soft._ _

__Magnus sent him an exasperated look. “Do not interrupt, Nephilim. Your virtue. Some call it innocence, naivete, purity. You will forfeit your angelic morality. For seven days, you will engage in the conduct of the fallen, and each day you will funnel said power to me.”_ _

__“My power? All I have are runes…”_ _

__“All Nephilim have power, Alec,” replied Magnus, stepping closer. “Your actions have power; your thoughts have power. For a child of the angels to purposely act against the angels' wishes and instead for their own desires… there are fewer actions more powerful than that.”_ _

__“O-Okay. What will I have to do?” Alec asked, moving away from Magnus’s close distance._ _

__“Ah, the fun part.” A smirk crossed Magnus’s face, and he looked the nervous man up and down. “I think you might even enjoy it. Seven days, seven sins: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. You will engage in all of them. I, of course, will be present in order to collect the payment, but the desires will be specified to you. Your signature, Mr. Lightwood.”_ _

__A roll of browned paper was pushed across the table, Magnus’s nimble fingers offering a quill pen._ _

__Alec paused, chewing on his bottom lip. To do what Magnus was asking was grounds for de-runing. He would be purposely acting against the angels and the Clave, practically smashing the Lightwood name into the dirt._ _

__However, he had already agreed to the deal. Backing out was not an option. Besides… it was an opportunity to explore the thoughts he had pushed down for so many years. This was a chance to indulge and rest, foreign concepts to Shadowhunters. Perhaps more importantly, it was a chance to be intimate with a man._ _

__Gently taking hold of the pen, and ignoring the warm brush of Magnus’s fingertips against his own, Alec knelt and scribbled his name across the bottom of the sheet._ _

__Feeling an intense gaze, he looked up, met Magnus’s smoldering eyes, and smiled._ _


	2. Pride (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec learns just what this contract of entails... 
> 
> Magnus begins to break down Alec's walls and help the lost Shadowhunter understand himself.

“Wonderful,” Magnus said, snapping his fingers. The document rolled and disappeared in a shower of sparks. “Let me show you to the guest room, and then I will go out to deal with your companions.”

“Guest room? Will I need to rest?” Alec asked, absentmindedly rubbing his arm. “I have runes for that.”

Magnus shook his head, leading Alec down the hall to a solid, wooden door. It opened to a pleasant room with green walls and tasteful decor. “This is not a physical strength, Alec. You cannot use runes or other aids within the conducts. They will challenge your mental strength; they are looking at your heart, not your head. Trust me when I say that you will need time to sleep and recover.” 

The Nephilim was looking more and more concerned, rooted to the spot in the floor. “Will I- am I- you…”

A firm hand touched Alec’s shoulder, warmth flooding through his shirtsleeve. “The intention is not to cause you harm, Alec. The seven conducts are part of you and I, just like everyone else. However, children of the angels tend to avoid acting on them, instead letting them build up and fester inwardly. That’s where I come in. When you let your inhibitions go, I absorb them and funnel them as power. Yes, it benefits me, but it will likely benefit you as well. Any pain you suffer will be a result of your resistance, not your compliance.”

“O-Okay.” 

“Wonderful,” Magnus smiled. “Now, why don’t you get settled. Feel free to use anything you find. There should be towels in the bathroom and clean clothes in the dresser. I’ll be back in a bit.” 

With a quick wave, Magnus was gone. 

~

It was a few hours before Magnus returned. He’d brushed off Alec’s questions regarding Clary’s memories, acknowledging only that the group had left for the Institute in one piece. Now, he stood before the Nephilim, all focus purely on him.

“May I?” 

Tan skin stretched out toward Alec, nimble fingers framed by navy painted nails. 

Slowly, Alec took hold, wrapping his own, larger fingers around the smaller ones. Warmth flooded between their palms, and a shiver made its way up Alec’s spine. A heavy gaze settled on him like a blanket, and he took care to hide any reaction he might have had. 

Alec wasn’t a blushing virgin. Well, he was a virgin, and he did tend to blush a lot, but that was beside the point. Years of training and contact with fellow Shadowhunters had taught him how to hide any attraction he might feel or reactions that might arise. Popping a boner while practicing hand-to-hand was not exactly acceptable… at least not in the Clave’s eyes. 

However, for the first time since he was a child, Alec had to reign himself in. A simple touch, the holding of Magnus Bane’s hand for less than a minute, had heat crawling up the back of his neck. 

“You’re going to feel a bit of pressure, Alec. I will be foreign to your angelic blood, so there might be a moment or two of discomfort. Let me know if it’s too much, and don’t tense up.”

Nodding, Alec averted his eyes from those of the handsome man currently holding his hand. The attraction he had felt upon entering the loft and seeing its owner was growing, and he couldn’t help but imagine Magnus saying those words in a different scenario. If only.

Magnus’s hand clasped his own in a firm grip, as if establishing a bridge between the two, and then he began to whisper. His words were foreign to Alec, but their action was immediately noticeable. 

A tingling sensation spread through Alec’s body, sprouting from their point of connection. It was not uncomfortable. Rather, it moved quickly, like fingers dancing atop his skin in a light, playful manner. A slow-moving, weighted awareness followed and spread like thick molasses through his veins. It soothed the former sensations, tracing its way from Alec’s trembling thighs to the quickened beating of his heart and up to the tips of his pinkened ears. 

He might as well have been laid bare with Magnus staring at his naked body for what he was feeling. 

A quick squeeze and his hand was released, the intimate sensations disappearing immediately. Shame, he’d kind of liked it. “All done, Alec. You did very well.” 

“What- what was that?”

“The conducts are yours, Alec. In order to present them, I have to know what they are.”

“So… so you read my mind? Like- like everything I’ve ever thought?” The alarm bleeding into Alec’s voice was neither minor nor very well disguised. Panic was rising as he considered everything Magnus would have just seen. 

“No, Alec,” Magnus said, stepping back a few paces to give the frightened man some space. “Your thoughts are yours. I merely identified senses, impressions, and instincts. I would never trespass in such a manner. You have my word.”

The stiffness in Alec’s posture softened, his eyes fluttering closed in relief. “Thank- thank you.” 

“There is no need for thanks. I am deeply sorry if I have given you an impression saying otherwise.” 

“You- you haven’t. I just… I’m not ready to…” Teeth bit into plump lips, and Alec ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t want you to judge me based on thoughts I can’t control. I want- I want you to know me…”

“I understand, Alec.” A single finger hovered over pink lips, tinted from Alec’s nervousness. “But I also need you to understand that you’re going to have to address those thoughts because they are a part of you. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.” 

Silence met Magnus’s reply. Alec’s eyes were downturned and his posture slouched as though he were trying to hide within himself. 

“Are you ready to begin, Alec?” Magnus asked, pulling Alec’s attention from himself to Magnus. He nodded, clasping trembling hands behind his back. “Alright, let’s get more comfortable.”

The two made their way to the living room. Magnus went directly to the drink cart while Alec settled onto the oversized couch. Unlike most furniture, it was large enough to accommodate his long legs without feeling awkward and embarrassed. Actually, he felt dwarfed. It was an oddly comforting feeling. 

“Here you go, Alec.” A clear drink in a long-stemmed glass was pressed into Alec’s hand, the brief contact with Magnus’s skin causing his face to heat yet again. He was going to have to get that under control. “There’s also water and juice if you’d prefer.”

“Thanks.” A quick sip and Alec was placing the drink as far away as possible. “So… is this it? We’re just gonna… talk?”

Magnus smiled, taking a sip from his own glass. “What did you expect? Fire and demons? Naked men and piles of food?” 

“Well… yeah,” Alec replied, choosing not to address the ‘naked men’ comment just yet. 

“We may get a bit more complex later on, but for now, yes.” Magnus slid his chair closer. “There is no schedule, Alec. You don’t have some quota to meet or expectations to satisfy. It will take time. Besides, I think the first conduct is the most difficult and, thus, most suited to a straightforward conversation. And drinks never hurt.” Magnus sent Alec a grin, clinking Alec’s forgone glass with his own.

“What’s the first one? Why is it so difficult?”

“Ah, now if I told you that it would alter your thinking. You’ll start to recognize them, but don’t be surprised if a few overlap. These are rarely separate. They tend to be tied to a specific thing, a lynchpin if you will.” 

Alec nodded slowly. He had an idea of what that lynchpin might be and would rather be mauled by a hoard of Shax demons than discuss it. Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be an option. 

“Alright Alec, tell me about yourself.”

Alec blinked in surprise. “Really? Okay…” He paused to think for a moment, struggling to come up with anything. “Well, my name is Alec Lightwood. It’s actually short for Alexander- Alexander Gideon… but you didn’t need to know that…” His cheeks flamed. Angels, what a fool he was making of himself. “I go by Alec. Uh… I have three siblings. Jace and Izzy you already met, and Max is still in training. He’s…” A wry smile crossed Alec’s face. “Let’s just say that Max is working on his skills.”  


“I can only imagine,” Magnus smiled. “Go on.”

“Well… my parents both work at the Institute. My dad is currently the head. Oh, and you met Clary, the current headache we’re dealing with. Apparently she knows where the Moral Cup is… but she’s already more trouble than she’s worth. Jace seems to like her, though. I can’t say I understand it. Uh… we all train with Hodge, and-”

Magnus held a hand up. “Alec, do you realize that you haven’t said a single thing about yourself besides your name?”

“Wh- what?”

“You’ve told me about your siblings and your parents, Clary, and even your trainer, Hodge. But you haven’t talked about yourself outside of the people you surround yourself with. I’m not with them; I’m with you. Tell me about you.”

“Oh…” Alec looked uncertain, messing with his hair again. “Well, I prefer to train on a bow… which you saw earlier. I guess I’m pretty alright at it. Jace usually beats me at hand-to-hand, though. He’s stronger and tends to be faster as well. That’s why he likes the seraph blades, and he’s really good with them. Izzy picked her whip and is…” The Shadowhunter trailed off, Magnus’s tender face cutting off his train of thought. “What?”

“Do you realize that you’re doing it?” Magnus asked, looking contemplative. “You shifted onto your siblings almost immediately, again.” 

“Well… I’m pretty much always with them. So, yeah. When we fight, they’re usually the ones killing the demons.” 

Magnus leaned forward. “And what do you do, then?”

“I’m their backup,” Alec shrugged. “I just make sure they don’t get killed from behind.” 

“And why isn’t that worth mentioning? Why didn’t you start by saying that you’re the protector?”

Dark locks shook immediately. “I’m not some hero, Magnus. I watch out for my siblings, but that’s it. I’m not good at getting information like Izzy or chasing down demons like Jace. I just…” Alec blew out a breath, deep and slow. “I’m just there. That’s my job.” 

“Tell me, Alec,” Magnus said, setting his empty glass aside, “would you be a better Shadowhunter if you were more like Jace or Isabelle?”

The Nephilim looked down, playing with his own fingers. It hurt to hear Magnus say aloud what Alec had so often thought about himself. “Y- yeah,” he said softly, refusing to meet Magnus’s eyes. 

“No, Alec.” Soft fingers tilted his face up. Warm, chocolate eyes met his own, burning with a ferocity that Alec did not fully understand. “You are not some lesser version of your siblings. You’re not a faulty Shadowhunter simply because you fight in a different manner.” Magnus spoke with conviction, even as the words were said in a gentle tone. “Being different isn’t a bad thing.” 

“It- it is.” Alec broke Magnus’s gaze, chewing on his bottom lip again. “I can’t- I don’t want to do what my parents want, what the Clave wants. My kind of different isn’t… it’s not like you. I’m not like you.” 

“Like me?”

“You’re… you’re confident and gorgeous and powerful and… you can do things the Clave can’t. The Clave needs you. They- they don’t need me.” Alec’s tone had grown soft, his voice cracking as he spoke. He was unused to the openness, to the idea that feeling upset or unsatisfactory was something one could talk about. Shadowhunters were not allowed weakness or vulnerabilities. Shadowhunter were not allowed to feel. 

But now, Magnus was sitting in front of him. Magnus, this strangely alluring man that he had only just met, was offering him comfort and solace. A warlock, a Downworlder, was listening in a way that nobody else ever had. 

The tear that had been building slowly slid down his cheek, and Magnus brushed aside Alec’s hand to wipe it himself. 

The pressure was foreign on Alec’s skin. It was a gesture of comfort, something that his parents never offered and his siblings knew better than to attempt. The pad of Magnus’s finger was smooth and soft and warm, catching the tear and then wiping away its entire track down his cheek. Magnus’s other hand came up to stop another tear, drying it before it had a chance to spill over, and then both cradled Alec’s face. 

Their steady eye contact was unfamiliar. The Shadowhunter in him was frantically trying to push Magnus away, to hide behind the mask of disregard Alec wore so often. And yet, the Alexander in him, the voice which ached to be noticed for once in his life couldn’t help but steal another moment… and then another.  


He mentally traced the flecks of gold scattered throughout Magnus’s irises, their color both beautiful and subdued, as if hidden away. He watched as the pupils grew and shrank, adapting to the fading light in the room and the intensity of the moment. When Magnus slowly blinked, Alec found his gaze dropping to the dark, thick lashes framing almond eyes better than the kohl ever could. 

Magnus was absolutely beautiful and, by the luck of some angel, Alec got to see it. He was the one sitting close enough to feel the warmth seeping from close contact. He was the man being offered a guest room in the earthy and homey apartment. He, Alec Lightwood, was the lucky bastard Magnus chosen. Not Jace. Not Izzy. But him… plain old Alec. 

“Your- your eyes…” At Alec’s words, Magnus pulled away. Though the movement was gentle, Alec couldn’t help but feel the immediate shift. “I- I didn’t mean in a bad way. I’ve just- I’ve never seen any so-”

“They’re not anything special.” Magnus’s voice was guarded. 

Alec reached an arm out, unable to keep himself from tracing a finger across Magnus’s brow and down the side of his face. “They’re beautiful,” he said softly, not stuttering over a single word. 

The topic of his admiration shut, a deep breath pulling through Magnus’s chest. Alec’s hand was tugged away and placed softly in his own lap. 

“You need to separate yourself from the Clave, Alec.” Magnus said, changing the subject and meeting his eyes once more. This time, however, the gold speckles were missing. “Separate your beliefs from those that are fed to you. Shadowhunters don’t hear it often, but being needed isn’t always the best thing. Sometimes, it’s better to be wanted.”

“Wanted?”

“Appreciated. Yearned for. To be wanted for your presence as opposed to your abilities. There is a difference between what you’re good at and what makes you Alec Lightwood.”

“Is there?” Alec’s voice wavered, and his body seemed to fold in on itself. Stripped of his fighting skills, his bow, his Shadowhunter upbringing… what was left of any value?

A warm hand pressed against his shoulder. “Yes.”

“Oh.”

“Besides,” Magnus said, his mouth quirking to the side. “If that’s all that matters, I would have roped Jace into signing the contract. I’m sure he has a fair amount of rebellion built up in him.” 

Alec snorted, a wry smile worming its way onto his face. “That’s for sure.”

“But I wanted you, Alec. I chose you.” 

“About that…” Playing with his fingers, Alec scooted closer. “Why did you ask for me?”

“A story for another time.” Magnus’s words were weighted and final, and they seemed to bookend the sorrowful turn for the night’s conversation. “Now, can I conjure you a late dinner, or am I doomed to be the host that sends my guest to bed starving?”

“I wouldn’t mind a sandwich, but-”

“Oh darling, I think I can do better than that.” Magnus said, swirling his fingers in an oddly mesmerizing pattern. “Any food in the world. Pasta carbonara from Venice. Freshly steamed dumplings from Japan. Perhaps a bratwurst from Germany.” 

“Ha ha, very funny.” Alec raised an eyebrow, again ignoring the hint. Even if Magnus had guessed his preference for men, he sure as hell wasn’t ready to talk about it. And certainly not with the gorgeous and teasing warlock in front of him. “Why don’t you choose? I trust your judgement.” 

Magnus smiled, and food began to appear on the table in front of them. “Flattery will get you everywhere and everything, Alec. As well as marvelous food. Tamales and street corn for you, and a chocolate cannoli for us both.”

“Thank you,” Alec said, reaching for his plate. He ate quickly, used to the sustenance rather style method of Clave cooking, up until he bit into the cannoli. “Angels… this is amazing.” The sweet disappeared quickly, and Alec licked the last bits of powdered sugar from each finger.

“Another?”

“Oh no-” A plate of pastries appeared, at least four new cannolis buried among the pile. “Magnus, I can’t possibly-”

“But you can, Shadowhunter.” Magnus replied, already pressing one to Alec’s lips. His tone was light, and the distinction was clearly meant as a joke rather than a jab. “No need to be big and tough here.”

Glancing between Magnus’s flickering, gold eyes and the cream-filled sweet inches away, Alec paused only a moment before biting in. The crispy shell crunched between his teeth as chocolate covered his tongue. It was delicate and sugary and unlike anything he ever allowed himself to indulge in. 

“About what you said before…” 

“Hmm?” Magnus asked, a smile forming when another cannoli disappeared. 

Red flushed down Alec’s neck and stained his cheeks pink. “I uh- I was wondering if- you said you didn’t want to send me to bed hungry…” He paused, looking up for confirmation before continuing. “I just- I was wondering if I had to go to bed now.”

“Ah, still hungry?” 

Alec shrugged, unwilling to admit that he simply didn’t want the night to end. He wanted to stay in the little bubble that seemed to encase Magnus and him, the rest of the world fading away. 

“You Shadowhunters don’t watch many movies, do you?” asked Magnus, squinting at the man sharing his couch. “What am I saying, of course you don’t… too busy chasing demons around the city like crazy people…” he muttered to himself. “You,” a glittery, black painted nail pointed in Alec’s direction. “sit back and prepare yourself for the greatest cinematic night of your life.” One snap and the lights dimmed; another and a television appeared. 

Alec leaned back, munching on his sweets. Seeing Magnus do magic was breathtaking, and it was incomprehensible that he would waste it on him… little old Alec. A rush of air ran over his shoulders, and Alec looked down to find himself in a pair of cozy sweatpants and a long-sleeved tee. 

“Movie watching requires comfy clothes,” said the voice to his left. “I figure a robe is a bit much for you.” Lost for words, Alec nodded. “Well then, I think we’re all set, Shadowhunter. Try not to fall asleep on me.” One last glance, and Magnus turned toward the opening movie credits. 

Alec, on the other hand, was entirely unable to focus on the sappy film. 

When the contract ended and Magnus no longer wanted to shoulder the burden of Alec Lightwood, at least he would have this night to remember. He would know what it felt like to be warm and comfortable, to be offered a pastry and able to enjoy it. He would be able to think back on the warmth of Magnus’s body and the hidden gold of his eyes, and that would be enough. 

To have one night of softness and vulnerability. 

To have one night where there were no responsibilities. 

To have one night where he- the closeted, stoic, gay Shadowhunter that cared for everyone else- was finally taken care of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry for all the feels and fluff! :) 
> 
> My plan for this piece involves many sides of Malec, but I felt it was important for Magnus to begin breaking down Alec's insecurity and for the two to bond before anything too crazy happens... :)


	3. Envy (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, y'all! I'm going to try and have part 2 of Envy up in the next few days! :)

Light flickered across Alec’s eyelids, pulling the Shadowhunter from a dreamless sleep. 

For the first time since he could remember, Alec hadn’t woken during the night. He hadn’t found himself drenched in sweat or mid-scream as the tendrils of his nightmares faded. Sheets were not twisted around his ankles as though he’d been running from something far more fearful than a demon, and Jace was not knocking on the door because he’d woken as well. 

Instead, there was sunlight. It streamed through the open windows of the living room and highlighted the pair nestled on Magnus’s couch. The television was turned off, but the remainder of their movie marathon was evident. Pillows lay strewn across the floor, and the coffee table was littered in empty martini glasses, which Alec was not responsible for, and plates left with only crumbs, which Alec was responsible for. Just the thought of the flavorful pastries had him licking his lips. 

And then there was Magnus.

The warlock was still asleep, burrowed beneath a soft blanket. Dark lashes rested atop golden skin, and his previously impeccable makeup was smudged from a pillow. He was, well, beautiful, a word Alec had never before associated with a man. 

Sure, he’d found male Shadowhunters attractive or charming, and Izzy was the oddest complex of seduction, glamor, and danger that he’d ever known, but Alec had never met a person more alluring than the moment he met eyes with Magnus Bane. And now, with slightly smeared eyeliner making him appear younger and more vulnerable, specks of glitter fallen onto his cheeks, and softly parted lips letting out little puffs of warm breath, Magnus was absolutely _beautiful_. 

Gazing at Magnus’s serene face, a small flutter erupted deep in Alec’s chest. It was slight, but it was there. A butterfly’s wings trembling for the first time and stealing his breath for its flight. He couldn’t help the bit of warmth spreading through his body or the twitching of his fingertips which ached to brush away a stray hair, tinted in navy. 

“Mmhhhhh.”

Alec jerked away, scrambling to pull the blanket up to his waist and rest again on the pillow. He lay still, silently begging his heart to stop beating, and feigned sleep as best he could. 

The couch shifted, and the warmth of another body pulled away. The room was quiet until a soft snap. Alec could feel Magnus’s gaze almost as well as a physical touch, and it stayed locked on his face for many minutes. Eventually, footsteps could be heard moving toward the kitchen, and Alec relaxed. 

It was nearly ten minutes before Magnus returned. Alec had been so focused on appearing asleep that he’d drifted back into the twilight zone between consciousness and slumber, and the lethargic fog was quickly pulling him back. A faint scent reached his nose, and then a hand gently shook his shoulder. 

“Milk or sugar?”

Daylight once again covered his eyelids, and the Shadowhunter found himself blinking rapidly before pushing himself up. “I- uh, huh?”

Allowing his eyes to focus, Alec immediately detected a shift in the man before him. Gone was the tender sleeping beauty, instead replaced by the High Warlock of Brooklyn. 

Unlike his slumbering self, Magnus’s full face of makeup was perfectly done. Pink colored his eyes, defined by pristine eyeliner, and the light bounced off highlights on his cheeks and cupids bow. Plump lips quivered, as if single-handedly testing Alec’s reserve, tinted a rosy shade. However, contrary to the blush color of his eyes and lips, the makeup gave Magnus a hardened look. His shield was up, and Alec found himself missing the tranquil and youth-like appearance Magnus had when asleep. 

“Coffee- do you like milk or sugar or both?”

“Just black is fine,” Alec replied, stretching. 

Magnus rolled his eyes, and he quickly dropped in two sugar cubes and a spot of milk before handing the mug over. “There are far more effective ways of punishing yourself than through the atrocity of black coffee. In fact,” he glanced in Alec’s direction, “we could explore that in a more _recreational_ setting if you’d like.” 

“Huh?”

“Sex, Alec.” Magnus deadpanned, quirking an eyebrow when the Shadowhunter choked on his coffee. “Whips? Paddles? Whatever new-fangled devices you Nephilim have created in your spare time.” 

“Those are for fighting demons! Not- not…”

“Bad little Shadowhunters?” supplied Magnus, a smirk settling onto his face. “You must have free time at some point.”

Alec looked absolutely scandalized. “Yeah, for training! And- and research… or-” 

“Fear not, Alec,” Magnus smiled, taking pity on the stuttering man in front of him. “I don’t plan on tying you to a bed frame anytime soon.”

“I thought we were talking about coffee!”

“Yes, I suppose we were,” Magnus replied, tapping his chin lightly with a painted nail. “Besides, I anticipate it will be a bit longer before the, shall we say, _carnal_ conduct, and there is no requirement that I be involved. Although I will need to be present, you need not fear becoming the consort of a dastardly warlock.”

Alec nodded stiffly, swallowing down the remainder of his surprisingly delicious coffee. Part of him wanted to contradict Magnus, to clarify that it was neither his warlock nature nor Magnus himself that gave Alec pause. Rather, it was the _department_ which had been a surprise. But admitting such would also require acknowledging his minimal (to no) experience, and that would open the door to his sexuality. 

And Alec was not ready to go there. 

“About that… can you explain the conducts again?” asked Alec, clearing his throat to break the silence. “I got the seven sins part, but you can’t exactly force me to be angry or to sleep with a bunch of women. Wait…” the Shadowhunter froze, eyes darting to meet Magnus’s. “I don’t have to sleep with a bunch of women, do I?”

“No, Alec. You certainly will not be forced to sleep with _women_.” Magnus paused, allowing Alec to absorb his emphasis on gender. “You won’t be forced to do anything. It happens naturally. In fact, you’ve already begun to tackle two without being aware of it.”

“I have?”

“Indeed. Now, let’s get you dressed. What would you like?”

“Jeans and a t-shirt are fine.” 

Magnus clucked his tongue. “Fine does not answer my question. Black coffee may be fine, but you enjoyed the additional sweetness. Am I correct?” He paused, waiting for Alec to confirm what was already apparent before continuing. “Wonderful. Similarly, black jeans and a t-shirt might be fine, but I am certainly capable of clothing you in something both comfortable and pleasing. What would you like?” 

“Uh, I’m not sure. I just always wear the same things.”

“And why would that be?”

“It’s just easier, I guess,” Alec replied. “They’re comfortable.” 

Silence followed, and Alec looked up from the floor to take in Magnus. He stood, one leg bent at the knee, studying the Shadowhunter as if trying to discern something just below the surface. It was oddly intimate and caused a skip in Alec’s heartbeat. 

_Snap_.

Air whooshed over Alec’s body, the transition so quick that he barely noticed before it was over. Where his sleep-rumpled clothes had once been, a clean pair of grey sweatpants and a loosely fitting, long-sleeved white t-shirt appeared. 

“That must be handy- for when you spill food on your clothes. Not that you’d spill food or anything. I mean, I don’t- well, I do. But I just meant like normally, not like…” Alec cut himself off, already feeling heat rise to his cheeks. 

“Like?” Magnus quirked an eyebrow, his voice teasing.

“Oh! Uh, nothing.” 

“If you say so, Alec. But, what do you think of these clothes?”

Alec flushed, grateful that Magnus had let the point go, and looked down. “They’re… they’re great. Thank you.”

“Are they?”

“Yeah- yeah. Thanks.”

Magnus stepped closer. His lips were pursed slightly, and his right hand twirled idly. “Are they great? Or are they just _fine_?” His questions were met with silence. “See, I believe that you’ve come to associate comfort and enjoyment together, and that is not the case. Maybe you’re _comfortable_ in somber colors, but maybe you _want_ to have a bit more fun. Maybe you want to dress in a way that makes you happy as opposed to helping you fade into the shadows. And maybe, that’s okay.”

Dark eyes with golden flecks stared out at Alec, mesmerizing and intimate. At the same time, a warm hand rested just above his wrist, and pulled gently at the fabric of his shirt. Alec heard the rhetorical nature of the questions. He knew what Magnus was suggesting, even disguised in a conversation about clothes. But perhaps more importantly, he knew just how close Magnus had come to the truth. 

“Maybe a bit of color wouldn’t hurt?” 

The words were soft and phrased as a question, but Alec knew that Magnus had heard. A smile spread across the warlock’s face, warm and gentle. “Absolutely, Alec. Would you like to pick them out? Or shall I?”

Alec gestured toward Magnus, ready to feel the moving air. But it never came. Instead, a tingle began to spread throughout his body. First his toes, then up his legs. It registered just below the surface of his skin and slid warmly, similar to honey flowing out of a bottle. 

Magnus had both palms outstretched. His left remained steady while the right gradually pulled upward, guiding his magic around Alec. His movements were slow and methodical, and a finger twitched every now and again as if stitching fabrics together. 

Soon, all that remained of the sensation was Alec’s memory.

However, in its place was a new outfit. Grey sneakers had been the first to appear, followed by jeans cuffed at the ankles. A pale blue button-down shirt with doodles of people sitting and dancing was next with its sleeves rolled near the top of the arm. Red leather bracelets and a red belt finished the outfit, matching the accent colors of the shirt. It was modest yet also colorful and a bit quirky. 

It was everything Alec wanted to be, encompassed within the creative expression of clothing. 

“Okay, Alec?”

He nodded, swallowing the emotions that had surfaced. “It’s- It’s perfect. Thank you, Magnus.” 

“It was my pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you recognize the outfit Magnus put Alec in? It's one of my favorites that Matt has worn (though I took a bit of liberty with the additional red accents!)
> 
> I'd love to hear comments, suggestions, etc. about what y'all would like to see from Malec in future chapters. 
> 
> Also... for lust (which is coming soon), do you want sweet or saucy? Leave your preference below! :)


	4. Envy (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of teasing, a bit of honesty.
> 
> Hope you enjoy Magnus's perspective!

“Ah ah, no glamour today, Alec.” 

The Shadowhunter looked up, surprised. In all his patrols and outside work, Alec could count on one hand the number of times he’d been among mundanes without a glamour. It was part of his gear, so regularly used that he tended to forget there was another option. Disappearing into the background was… easier, within Alec’s comfort zone. 

Magnus’s face had held a look of surprise when the stele appeared, but now he placed a gentle hand on Alec’s wrist and pushed it away from his skin. “Today, you’re just a guy going to the zoo, not a Shadowhunter. The average adult male does not- _surprisingly_ \- become invisible when in public.” 

“I’d dare to guess that the average adult male doesn’t portal directly into the zoo either.” Alec’s lips curled upward, and one eyebrow cocked up. 

“Ah,” Magnus paused, momentarily caught. “Perhaps, but hailing a cab is _such_ a waste of time. Luckily you and I have a few advantages up our sleeves.” He winked once, quickly. “Now, are you more of a lion or a koala type of guy?”

~

As it turned out, Alec was _both_ a lion and a koala guy… along with hippos, lamas, sloths, birds, ducks, pandas, and nearly every other animal present. He’d waved happily at the camels and stared deeply into the eyes of a snow owl, clearly enraptured. Standing on his tippy-toes, Alec had often leaned so far over the handrails that Magnus had grabbed ahold of the back loop of his jeans, just to make sure the tall, gangly man didn’t fall and become part of the zoo itself. 

Really, it was quite endearing. 

In less than an hour, the stress had faded from Alec’s shoulders. His arms were loose and face open, pure joy and exhilaration erasing any hint of the pressure that came with being a young Shadowhunter. A previously ramrod posture had softened into a casual slouch, and the tough, scarred hands were too busy pulling Magnus in the direction of the next animal to miss a bow or seraph blade. 

For the first time in their short acquaintance, Alec looked happy. Not satisfied at finishing a mission or grateful for a small favor- no. Relieved of all physical Shadowhunter signs, save his runes, and surrounded by the bleating and cawing of the undemanding animal kingdom, Alec Lightwood appeared well and truly chuffed. 

It shouldn’t have mattered to Magnus. His breath shouldn’t have caught when bright, sparkling eyes met his own, and a sense of fondness shouldn’t have filled his chest when Alec bounced on his toes, craning his neck to scan the trees for a sleeping red panda. 

But it did. And much as he tried to fight it, Magnus couldn’t help the sliver of hope that began to bloom deep in his heart. 

“Magnus!” Alec’s excited voice broke through his complicated thoughts. “Did you see the peacocks? Apparently only the boy peacocks have colorful feathers because they’re trying to attract mates, but one spread his feathers right in front of me!”

“I’m not terribly surprised by that,” Magnus replied, more than happy to turn to lighter thoughts.

“No? The guide said it was fairly rare, but-”

“I’m rather impressed it had the good sense to try and gain your attention, Alec.” Magnus smiled saucily, stepping closer to the blushing beauty in front of him. “One would have to be blind or foolish not to.” 

“Magnus, that’s not-”

“Ah ah, darling. I wouldn’t say anything too harsh so long as I’m standing in front of you.” 

“What…” Alec paused, taking a moment to look at his companion’s outfit. 

Magnus wore a silk, deep-turquoise colored tunic that settled below his waist. It was loose and fluid, the material’s color shifting with each movement. The neckline narrowed before plunging deeper than any of Alec’s own shirts, and it was framed by golden stitches, ebony beading, and coin-like accents. Two necklaces holding arrow-shaped pendants dangled against a backdrop of golden skin, tapping it lightly. 

The color, the movement of the silk… The effect was quite similar to the exhibiting peacocks. 

Aware of Alec’s study, Magnus spun around once, showing off the outfit. 

“You- uh- I mean-”

Magnus preened, pleased with the reaction. “Why, thank you, Alec. I take your loss for words as quite the compliment.” 

Dark locks shook quickly, and Alec blinked once, twice before pressing his lips together in a poorly hidden smile. “Uh, you’re welcome. Do you wanna- I mean-” One hand waved off to the left. “Uh- reptile and insect houses are that way. Wanna go… or not,” he amended, noticing the skeptical look on Magnus’s face. 

“There are plenty more animals, Alec. Ones that don’t involve snapping jaws, stagnant water, or eight legs.”

“Whoa- nobody said anything about spiders.” One finger hovered between the two. “But, the rest should get visitors just like all the other animals. They’re underappreciated and probably lonely. All animals are beautiful, Magnus.”

“So they are,” smiled the warlock. “How about a snack break, and then we can head that way?” At Alec’s nod, he gestured to an empty bench by the sea otter exhibit. “Why don’t you grab us a seat while I procure the snacks.”

In less than fifteen minutes, Alec was blissfully munching on a funnel cake. Magnus had purchased himself a bag of chips, not sharing Alec’s seemingly bottomless sweet tooth, and a bottle of water to share rested by their feet. 

“I always thought that warlocks used their magic for food and stuff,” Alec said casually, “but I guess that doesn’t always make sense. Do you need to conserve it in case of an emergency?”

Magnus shook his head. “Warlocks rarely expend all their magic. It leaves us vulnerable, so we only do so in true emergencies. There are ways to share energy in such cases, but it is rare.” A rueful smile crossed his face. “Few would willingly open themselves to a warlock in such a manner. Besides, there is a charm to doing things the mundane way every now and again.” 

Alec was silent, chewing on his funnel cake. Every now and then a bit of powdered sugar would escape to his top lip, followed by a pink tongue swiping it away. 

Magnus doubted that the Shadowhunter even realized he was doing it, much less the effect it was having. 

“So, you can do pretty much anything so long as you haven’t exhausted your magic? Sorry, the Clave focuses more on Shadowhunters than Downworlder abilities.” 

“No need to apologize, Alec. Our abilities are extensive, and we can pull from various sources, but even magic has its limits.” _We can still be left wanting_ , Magnus added silently, attempting to focus on the sea otters before them instead of his thoughts.

“What is something you want that magic can’t give you?” The question startled Magnus, its essence so similar to his own thoughts. “I didn’t mean to insult you,” Alec added quickly after noting the reaction. “Just… you’re an all-powerful warlock that has lived for centuries. You can conjure items with a snap and create potions of all different uses. And you’re immortal, so you don’t have to worry about leaving behind your family and friends.” 

The warlock was silent, absentmindedly spinning the rings which adorned his fingers. The minutes passed quickly, Magnus debating how much to reveal to this man he achingly wanted to trust. “Immortality… has its drawbacks.”

“I’m sorry; I didn’t think when I said that.” 

Magnus blinked once, long and slow, schooling his face and restoring his guarded walls. By the time he turned back to Alec, all thoughts of loneliness and heartbreak had been carefully locked away. “What about you? What do you want?”

“I guess I’m supposed to say superior fighting skills or Shadowhunter honor, but…”

“That wouldn’t be the truth.”

Alec shook his head, acknowledging Magnus’s accuracy. “No.”

A warm hand settled itself on Alec’s thigh, steady without being forceful. Magnus was careful not to push too far as he scooted closer to the now subdued man. He missed the lighthearted smile and flush of pinken cheeks from earlier, but he also knew the necessity in their conversation. Alec could not grow unless he healed first, and in order to heal, the wound needed to be opened. 

“Forego the Shadow World, Alec. What does your heart yearn for?”

Silence again enveloped the pair. By the time Alec finally responded, the look in his eyes was far away. “When I was maybe ten, I attended my first wedding. Shadowhunters, we mark our spouses with a rune to signify the union between our two families. But that’s not why I liked it. I liked it because- because it was a way of telling everyone that your heart had been loved. And then, when I figured out my… feelings… I realized that I would never be able to have it.”

“Rules can change.”

Alec shook his head. “It’s not really about the rune, though. Or a ring or the customs you may have as a warlock.” A hand ran through unruly locks, and Magnus had to restrain himself from grabbing it and holding it to his chest. “I just… Jace has always been able to flirt with whoever he wishes, and Izzy can confidently enjoy the people she chooses to spend time with. Even though the Clave might not approve, they can still do it. I would never resent them, but… they can choose otherwise. They get a choice. Whereas I- I- I can’t…”

“Whereas you can’t help being gay,” Magnus finished softly. 

“I didn’t choose it, Magnus. I didn’t choose it, and I can’t- I can’t-” He drew a shaky breath. “ _I can’t make it go away._ ”

Magnus was quiet, his thumb slowly stroking across Alec’s leg in a small gesture of comfort. The raw pain in Alec’s voice, the heartbreak at acknowledging his desires out loud was resurfacing insecurities Magnus had buried long ago. But just because Magnus had been left to fend for himself, desperate for some amount of understanding or support, that didn’t mean Alec needed to suffer the same fate. 

“Is that something you want?” It pained Magnus to ask, but he needed to know. If Alec was drained of pretending or dealing with the reality, there was still hope. However, if Alec had passed the point of no return, if he hated that part of himself enough to denounce it forever, there was nothing Magnus could do. 

“I don’t know,” Alec replied, voice subdued. “It’d be so much easier. I could date a nice Shadowhunter girl and get married, maybe even apply to be Head of the Institute. But…”

“But?”

Alec sighed heavily. His eyes, which had previously been shut tight, opened slowly, and he turned to meet Magnus’s eyes. “But it wouldn’t be me. I don’t- when I die, I don’t want to be remembered by my resume.”

Though the words had been spoken softly, the conviction behind them burned steady and strong. Alec might be a Shadowhunter, a soldier trained to follow orders and enforce law without question, but his soul remained unclaimed. He had not given in.

Magnus swallowed deeply, attempting to hide the emotions playing through his mind. Before he could question it, he slid his hand into Alec’s, needing the contact. Their palms slid together, and their fingers linked. Magnus found himself so distracted by the gentleness of the gesture that he didn’t notice Alec’s movement until his hand was being cradled by both of Alec’s. 

They were quiet. The chatter of happy zoo-goers seemed to fade away until it was just the two of them, encased in a bubble of thoughtful silence and genuine understanding. 

“I want to bring a guy home to meet my family. I want to go on dates and hold his hand in public. I want- I want my siblings to tease me when he says something suggestive and I blush- because… you know… I will.” Alec’s words were further proven as a rosy color made its way across his neck. “But that’s never going to happen. I won’t get to show off my boyfriend or have my family ask how he’s doing. I’ve always known, but that doesn’t make it any easier to swallow when Izzy and Jace get to. And I think a part of me is, well, jealous that I’ll never have that.” 

“You envy the normality of dating, the chance for something more to blossom?”

“I think so,” Alec acknowledged. 

“Tell me,” Magnus paused, looking down at their joined hands. Alec had been unconsciously playing with his rings, twisting them on and off, while he spoke. “What constitutes a date?”

“Huh?”

“Does a date require getting dressed up and going to dinner? Or,” he paused, feigning nonchalance, “would going to, say, a zoo and eating junk food count?”

Alec froze, whipping his head up. His stare was heavy and questioning, burning into the side of Magnus’s cheek. “Is- Is this a date?”

 _Do you want it to be?_ Magnus wondered, watching the sea otters jump in and out of water. The tone of Alec’s question had been surprised. Though he hadn’t detected any repulsion, Magnus was hesitant to answer directly without a more concrete idea of Alec’s own feelings. Beyond that, the timing was poor, especially considering Alec’s opening up.

No, now was not the time. 

“You are allowed to have interests outside of the Nephilim agenda,” said Magnus, dodging the question. “I know that, and I wanted you to see it as well. I took a guess that you’d be an animal lover, so this was the obvious destination.” 

“Yeah, but-”

A soft smile made its way across Magnus’s face before he could push it back down. “There are many joys you’ve yet to experience, Alec, and I would like to share them with you.” He paused, looking deep into Alec’s eyes. “Will you allow me to?”

Soft lips brushed Magnus’s skin, pressing a warm kiss to the center of his palm, and suddenly he could breathe a little easier. Alec’s mouth parted, breath washing over Magnus, and his answer was apparent before the words ever left. 

“I would like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what y'all think! I hadn't planned on this chapter being quite so full of feels, but apparently that's what Malec wanted me to write. :)
> 
> Up next: gluttony!


	5. Gluttony (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and feelings as Alec indulges!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! I'm incredibly sorry for the delay between chapters. As you've probably realized by now, this is my first extended/multiple chapters story, and I'm (clearly) still working on getting regular updates. Thank y'all so much for sticking with me!
> 
> Part 2 of Gluttony should be up soon!

Alec was an early riser. He had long trained his body to wake naturally, if unhappily, around sunrise, and the additional time tended to be used for training or studies. Those extra hours had helped him excel as a young Shadowhunter. In recent years, they were used more often to catch up for the time spent covering for his siblings.

Personal time was a luxury Shadowhunters were never afforded, along with privacy and rest days. Although each Shadowhunter was provided with two days off per month, it was highly frowned upon to spend them frivolously, and most ended up using them to train. 

Thus, Alec found the early hours at Magnus’s apartment foreign. After showering, dressing, and scrounging up some breakfast from the woefully lacking kitchen, it was quiet. Peaceful. Boots weren’t marching to training rooms, and the mechanical hum from tactical screens was missing. 

Instead, sunlight cascaded through the large windows and illuminated the living room invitingly. Colorful accents caught the eye, reflective pieces of glass and shimmering fabrics winking in the sunbeams. Soft chirps could be heard through the cracked balcony doors as bluebirds snacked on plates of birdseed, and Magnus’s cat lazily groomed himself from atop a velvet pillow. Alec thought he’d seen the cat around before, but the two had not yet been properly introduced. 

Filling himself a glass of water, Alec gave the cat a quick pat on the head and made his way onto the balcony. 

It was odd. Despite living in New York for his entire life, Alec had never taken a moment to simply admire it. Sure, he’d patrolled the streets and used various buildings for target practice, and Jace and Izzy had dragged him around in their adventures, but it had never been more than the place he lived, the place he protected. But now, he watched the skyline, lights blinking on as the city prepared for the day, and he finally understood the allure.

“Hello again,” Alec called, turning to address the cat as it came strolling onto the balcony. It jumped gracefully up to eye level and rubbed its head against Alec’s side, letting out a purr when he reached up to pet its head. “Well, aren’t you sweet! I feel rude just calling you The Cat; do you have a name?” 

The cat stared up at Alec and blinked slowly. 

“You’re right. There is a bit of a language issue, huh? Well, would you mind if I called you Oliver? Just until we speak to Magnus, of course.” 

Another slow blink. 

“Well, alright then, Oliver. What should we do now?” Alec paused, glancing over as if giving Oliver the opportunity to answer before continuing. “No suggestions? To be honest, I feel kinda lazy. Like, I should be training or something. We wouldn’t want to become soft, huh?” 

Oliver lifted a paw, exposing the fur and slight pudge of his stomach. 

“Oh, nothing wrong with a bit of fluff, of course.” Alec retracted, scratching behind Oliver’s ear in apology. “I just- it’s a bit different for me. See,” his voice took on a light tone, as if trying to explain to a child, “boy cats and girl cats are both soft and fluffy. But, uh- Shadowhunter boys are supposed to be strong and muscular, and they’re supposed to marry girls. And since I don’t want to marry a girl, I need to be super strong and, uh-” Alec trailed off, unsure of how to continue. How did one explain gay stereotypes to a cat? 

However, Oliver seemed to understand, or as much as a cat could. He headbutted Alec again, purring and placing a paw on top of Alec’s hand. 

Alec smiled slightly. “Yeah, I think it’s stupid, too. I mean, so what if I want to be the little spoon or wear something that actually looks nice? I’m still me; I’m still a Shadowhunter. I just don’t want to feel like the big bad warrior all the time. But,” he sighed, crouching down to look at Oliver, “the Clave doesn’t exactly agree. So instead, we’re super strong, huh? Yeah, and we don’t look at cute guys, at least not where anyone is looking. And-”

Alec continue to vent softly to Oliver, absentmindedly stroking the cat’s head as he did so. 

Perhaps it was because of the cat’s attention, or maybe it was because he was caught up in his own thoughts. Either way, Alec failed to realize that another person was listening. He hadn’t heard Magnus wake up and call for him, and he hadn’t felt his presence right inside the balcony doors. He was completely unaware. 

Magnus, however, _had_ heard Alec’s conversation. He’d initially smiled upon hearing the baby voice Alec was using, but it had quickly been overshadowed by the topic itself. His fists had clenched at the mention of Nephilim wedding expectations, and a pang had gone through his chest at the wishful tone of Alec’s inner desires. By the time Alec was explaining his actions, his need to overcompensate for his sexuality through physical appearance, Magnus had made up his mind. 

The deal was for Alec’s confidence. Initially standing in Magnus’s living room, the Shadowhunter had worn his own skin like a pair of boots he’d yet to grow into. Magnus had hated seeing him so uncomfortable. Their conversations were for Alec’s growth and understanding, to help him appreciate himself as is. However, taking him to the zoo? Keeping him happily full of sweet treats? The way Magnus’s arms ached to wrap him up and protect him? 

That was for Alec and Alec only, and Magnus wanted to love and spoil him like he deserved to be. 

~

“Good morning.” 

Turning toward the voice, Alec found Magnus leaning against the doorframe to the balcony. He wore a checkered top, buttoned only halfway, and black trousers. A few rings adorned his fingers, and his makeup was finished, though minimal. However, his feet were bare and showcased black painted toenails, a fact Alec found oddly adorable. 

“Morning,” Alec smiled, gesturing to the open seat beside him. “Did you just get up?”

There was a pause, as though Magnus were debating his answer. “I’ve been awake for a little while. Believe it or not, I don’t wake up looking this amazing. Speaking of which…” A grin spread across Magnus’s face as he looked Alec from head to toe. He wore a long-sleeved black and white shirt with large stripes. It was casual, comfortable, and fun. “I like the outfit.” 

“Thanks.” An accompanying blush ran up Alec’s neck. “I might have explored the closet.”

“I’m glad you did. It’s there for you to do so.”

Alec turned his head, unused to such blatant displays of generosity, but he failed to hide the pleased look on his face. “So, what is the plan for the day?” 

Magnus smiled, summoning Alec a mocha and a glass of orange juice for himself. “Who said anything about plans?”

“Uh- I guess, well…”

“Relax, darling. I was only kidding.” Magnus took a sip of his drink, settling comfortably into the seat. “Wait a minute,” he said, eyes narrowed on Alec’s hand casually stroking Oliver’s head. “Are you _petting_ The Chairman?”

Alec paused, surprised. “You named your cat The Chairman?”

“You’re allowed to touch him?”

“Well, yeah.” Alec’s response was confirmed as his hand was headbutted by the attention-seeking feline. “But I temporarily named him Oliver. It felt wrong calling him The Cat, but even that is better than The Chairman.” 

“No, silly. His name is Chairman Meow. He refuses to sit on anything less than the best fabrics, perhaps due to his early years as a stray, is easily offended, and has declared himself king of _my_ loft. He is an absolute menace-”

Alec found himself zoning out. Magnus’s voice, even when rambling about the difficulties of his cat, was smooth and low. He was rubbing his thumb and forefinger together mindlessly and paused occasionally to wave his hand in a graceful gesture. That combined with the sweet scent of sandalwood left Alec positively entranced.  


However, Alec was far more interested in Magnus’s face. The lift of his eyebrows, the stubble lining his mouth, and his lips- his _lips_. They were shiny, as though painted with lacquer, and bounced slightly as each word was formed. A soft pink color outlined Magnus’s perfectly formed cupid’s bow, and every now and then his tongue would peep out to wet any dry areas… not that there were any. 

_Angels, what he wanted to do to those lips…_

“- but it would appear he has taken a liking to you, Alec.”

“Huh? What?” Hearing his name had snapped him back into present time, but it was too late for Alec to come up with a logical response. 

“Did I bore you?”

“Oh! Not at all! I was just looking at your lips- ah! Not that I was- I mean- never mind.” 

Dark eyes stared pointedly back at Alec. Magnus blinked once before tracking his eyes downward to Alec’s own lips, his gaze heavy and heated, and back up to his wide eyes. “Was I… distracting you?”

Heat spread across Alec’s face at the simultaneously curious and suggestive tone. “I, uh- not- I mean, not in a bad way- I mean… can we talk about something else? Please?”

The flushed Shadowhunter refused to look up, his eyes glued to the _very interesting_ concrete beneath his feet. Anything was better than looking into Magnus’s deep and probing gaze that would immediately know the truth. 

“Alec.” The pad of a finger brushed his chin, tilting his face up. Nervous eyes met Magnus’s which were wide and gentle. “Ah, there you are.” A soft smile appeared. “There’s no need to hide from me.” 

“I uh, I don’t want to… hide from you, that is.” Alec cursed the gruffness of his voice, even as his words seemed to touch something in Magnus. 

Magnus stood slowly, setting down his glass of juice and moving in front of Alec’s chair. Meeting his eyes once more, he grasped both of the nervously twitching hands in his own and raised them into the air. Seconds later, warmth settled on Alec as he found Magnus seated sideways in his lap. 

“Is this okay?” 

Alec nodded quickly, if not jerkily. 

His hands were guided, one to the small of Magnus’s back and the other to his cheek. It was an intimate and endearing sight, his scarred skin and lanky fingers pressed against the softness of Magnus’s face. Slowly, Alec relaxed and found himself stroking the unblemished cheek. 

The warlock’s eyes fell shut, and he leaned into the gesture. When they reopened, Magnus’s eyes were half-lidded and his pupils wide. He leaned in slowly, closing the gap between them, and it took a moment for Alec to realize what was about to happen. 

Magnus was going to kiss him. 

Him, Alec Lightwood, who had given up on the dream of finding happiness. Who grieved for the love he had never be allowed to give and had resigned himself to a life of duty and tradition. Alec, who had been happier in the last few days than the remainder of his memory. He, who was saved by a deal-

“Wait!” 

All movement stopped. Magnus’s face, once so open with possibility, froze and then fell. His eyes squeezed momentarily, as though flinching, before he drew back.  


“I, uh…” His voice wavered, so soft Alec could barely hear. Taking a deep breath, Magnus began to stand. “I apologize. I must have misunderstood-”

“No, wait! Please, Magnus-” It was falling apart before Alec’s eyes. He could see Magnus shutting down and retreating, the warmth he always emitted being locked away. Large hands grabbed for the smaller man, pulling him close once more. “It’s not, I didn’t mean it like that-”

“It is quite alright, Alec.” Magnus went to disentangle Alec’s hands, his voice cold and polite. “There is no need to spare my feelings-” 

Alec leapt to his feet. He held tight to the retreating man before reaching up to cradle his face with both hands in a gesture so similar to before. Heat gathered below his palms, and he could see a remaining drop of moisture in the corner of a kohl-lined eye. It was gently wiped away. 

Much as Magnus attempted to avoid eye contact, Alec refused to yield. He bent down until mere inches remained between them and centered in Magnus’s line of sight. The gold-flecked eyes were glassy, failing to maintain their indifference. 

“Magnus,” Alec breathed, greatly affected by their closeness. “Please don’t leave.” 

“I-”

“Shh. Just listen, okay?” He took the silence as an agreement. “I don’t want you to- to kiss me because of a deal. I don’t want you to fake anything…” Alec gulped. “Because I- I think I care for you more than I should for someone I’ve only known for a few days. And I can take it if you don’t feel the same; I can do that. But I won’t survive you pretending because of our deal and then- then disappearing once it is over. I won’t- I wouldn’t- I don’t think I’d survive that.” 

Golden eyes stared back at him. 

“So, so yeah. If you still want to go, I’ll let you. I’ll understand. But I’ll never reject you, not like that.” 

“Oh, Alec.” Magnus’s words were soft and tender, accompanied by fingers tucking a piece of hair away from Alec’s face. “May I kiss you?”

Alec blushed bright red. “I’ve never- I don’t want to be bad-”

“Sit down, darling.” 

A peck was pressed to Alec’s cheek, hands guiding him into the chair he’d been previously occupying. Magnus settled sideways onto his lap and tucked a hand around the back of Alec’s neck to pull it closer. 

Caresses began at the base of his throat. Soft, warm lips traced their way up Alec’s neck, tracing the dark rune up to the side of his jaw and the tender skin behind his ear. Surely, he could feel, could _taste_ , the racing of Alec’s heart. 

“May I kiss you, Alec?” Magnus asked again, cognizant of the Shadowhunter’s uneven breathing and heated skin. 

Alec cracked his eyes open, unsure of when they’d closed, and found Magnus a breath away. “Please.”

They leaned in at the same time. 

At the touch of Magnus’s lips to his own, Alec positively melted. Magnus kissed him gently, preciously. Their lips met once, twice, three times in soft succession, each more tender than the last. At the slightest hint of a pause, Alec leaned to capture Magnus again. 

Kissing Magnus, or rather being kissed by Magnus, wasn’t how Alec had imagined. He could never have dreamed of the incredible man before him, but he had often thought of what it would be like. A hard press, skin moving against skin, a hand on the waist if he was lucky. Never had Alec considered kissing to be tender or protective. 

But it was. 

He could feel Magnus’s care, his feelings. It was more than their lips touching. Alec felt fully _consumed_ by Magnus, safe in his embrace. He felt truly free for the first time in his life, the chains of what he could never have left shattered beneath him. 

It felt like coming home. 

“Sorry,” Alec whispered, pressing his lips to Magnus’s again even as his smile broke them apart once more. 

“Not to worry, darling. Your happiness brings me happiness.” Magnus leaned up to press a kiss to Alec’s nose, then both of his cheeks, and his forehead. “And I can kiss you many more places than just your beautiful lips.” 

“Show me?”

Magnus laughed, scooting nearer on Alec’s lap. “It would be my pleasure,” he replied, entwining their lips once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aweeeee! We've got one more part of Gluttony coming up, and then buckle your seat belts because Wrath is coming. 
> 
> Duh duh duh... :)
> 
> As always, I would love to hear suggestions, comments, etc!


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